My mind is like a purgatory

I can’t tell you my life story

i’ve been through too much shit

trauma has caused me to forget who I am, what’s my plan, even the things I give a damn about

I have a fucked up mind, wasted too much time trying to be someone i’m not

I’ve fought so many demons, tried people pleasing

they say there’s a reason my suicide attempts didn’t work out

you mean I have a purpose? what is it?

I haven’t quite figured that part out

all I know is I don’t know shit

i just can’t fucking quit there’s too many people relying on me to stop lying when they ask me how i’m doing and I reply that i’m fine

but inside i’m silently dying i know you can’t read my mind but maybe my poetry will give you some peace of mind that i’m trying

this life is not easy so please forgive me

when i’m retreating inside my head, isolating

daydreaming of days when my heart doesn’t feel so dead, vacant

when i’m not so complacent with how i’m dealing

and this feeling of never ending sadness surpasses and one day i’ll wake up from all this madness

but today is not that day, so while I lay here holding back tears cause life feels overwhelming

and I have a hard time telling the people in my life when I am not alright

i’ll still keep up the good fight and stay awhile

even when i’m in denial that i’m strong enough to make it

fuck it, i’m gonna fake it, it’s what i’m good at

maybe i just need a good laugh

and tell my self “this too shall pass”