I will never understand the times I was never enough

all the times i confused lust for love

when I was full of trust and my body craved your touch

when I fell for words never followed up by action

always left wondering what the hell happened

left questioning, “what is wrong with me?”

upset with myself for letting you in too easily

trying to take back control by taking it out on my body

not eating right, body checking

forgot how to be kind to myself, how to quit stressing

overwhelmed by what i’m not and what I can’t be

trying to be perfect, fuck that’s not me